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  Banjo Kazooie - N64

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Mr007

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Posts : 24
Join date : 2010-09-27


PostSubject: Banjo Kazooie - N64    Fri Dec 31, 2010 11:37 am

[SIZE="6"]Banjo-Kazooie (1998) N64[/SIZE]




Banjo-Kazooie is one of the few RareWare games to come out on N64. RareWare is the company that released epic games for Nintendo and goes buggers off to Microsoft only to **** up by releasing half-decent games on the Xbox’s. I loved this game a whole lot when I was young and still today it’s epic.

Banjo started off as a crap Diddy Kong Racing driver and somehow he got to have his own game. Well we wouldn’t want Bumper the Badger or Timber the Tiger to have there own games, they’re douchebags, I suppose Banjos got his own game because he isn’t a retard. So the story is that Banjo’s a dude just living in a place called Spiral Mountain. He has a friend, Kazooie and a sister, Tooty living there. Tooty wants to go on an adventure with her brother, who’s sleeping right now. Meanwhile Grunty, the local villain in the Banjo world, is doing a rip off of Snow White by talking into a cauldron and asking it ‘Who is the fairest of them all?’ and she isn’t it because she’s an ugly ****. Turn’s out Tooty is the prettiest ho in Spiral Mountain. So as you might imagine, Grunty goes out and grabs her to do something about it. Tooty’s just talking to the local annoying character that no one likes, Bottles the Mole. WHEN SUDDENLY GRUNTY THE BITCH SWOOPS DOWN FROM ABOVE AND GRABS TOOTY! Banjo’s being the protective brother by sleeping through the whole thing and Kazooie’s trying her best to wait him up, yeah I was surprised when I found out Kazooie isn’t a chick. So Banjo wakes up and finds out about the kidnap and, this is where the game begins, goes off to save her.


Your game begins here

Banjo-Kazooie is a lot like Super Mario 64, You go around a hub world, in this case, Grunty’s Lair, and you go grab Jiggys, which are like stars, to open up new worlds. Jiggys reminds me of a song I know, hmm now what was it…? Ahh yes! Getting Jiggy with It!
[media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIduOvEoVeQ[/media]
Ok so you start off in Spiral Mountain and you talk to Bottles. You can either skip the tutorial and walk strait to Grunty’s Lair or do the tutorial and get 1 more honeycomb. Your health is Honeycombs, you start off with 5 honeycombs and if you collect six empty honeycombs you gain 1 extra Honeycomb to your health bar. Skipping the tutorial is good if you already have got the controls and want to get stuck into the game, but if you don’t you won’t get the extra health. So either waste time getting extra health or start the adventure. So you enter the Lair and there is a world called Mumbo’s Mountain. You can’t enter it because it is locked. But nearby the Entrance is a Jigsaw puzzle, with a piece missing. If you haven’t already got it through you empty skull; you find the Jiggy and put it in the Jigsaw puzzle. I thought that’s a really imaginative idea and I really wanting to keep playing. You complete the Jigsaw and enter Mumbo’s Mountain.

It opens up a giant world with an anthill, huts, and a gorilla throwing oranges- you’ve got to love randomness. The first thing I did was smack the elfish thing in front of me and he was like ‘ow!’ and that felt awesome! There were also some musical notes in my path aswell- more randomness, you don’t know why you collect them but after you leave the level you and if you collect enough musical notes then you can open the door to another section of the Lair. Then as I progressed in the level I heard someone shouting ‘Help!’ and I found some retard pink ****. It was a Jinjo. He told me if I got the others in this level I’d get a Jiggy. Oh, so I have to collect more ****ing Jiggys. I managed to find the gorilla and I dodge him to find a chimp, who I thought at first was Diddy Kong, great, more Diddy Kong Racing characters, what’s next, TipTup? Oh wait. So this Diddy Kong look alike wanted some of the gorilla’s oranges and so I climbed the tree the gorilla was on and grabbed one and, of course, gave it to him. And I thought well that was easy. And the Diddy Kong gave me a Jiggy. Hooray! Now I’ve got to find out what the hell am I supposed to do with them. Then I see a molehill and Bottles is in there, is he following us? And he teaches me a new move which Kazooie, who I forget was in Banjo’s Backpack, Can shoot eggs out of her mouth and her ass. What? Is this a kid’s game? It better not have been otherwise we have a very disturbed audience. So now to get yet another Jiggy by shooting the Gorilla. At first he’s a real pain in the ass but you’ll figure out a technique. So you get the Jiggy and go. What are the Jiggys for again? You’ll find out later. What else is there in Mumbo’s Mountain. Of Course! Mumbo! Mumbo is a shaman, not a Frostshocking WoW shaman but a guy who can change you into stuff. He doesn’t appear in every world, wait more worlds? This’ll take absolutely ages to complete! He can turn you into an ant in this world. That means, if you still haven’t figured in out or you haven’t been reading the whole thing, you can enter the anthill. You get around the anthill, cause the ant-form can’t do ****, and get to the top to find, you’ve guessed it ANOTHER JIGGY! I’ll wrap this level up before this Review turns into a guide.



CONCLUSION
I really hate to stop typing about it. THIS. GAME. IS. AWESOME. If you have a N64 and you don’t have this game, you better get it. This game is a classic and it5 will be very hard to fault Banjo-Kazooie. This games also coming to Xbox Live Arcade, because Rare is over there now. I really hope Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts doesn’t screw up. I really, really don’t.

 So many things to do
 Fun for everyone
 Story is funny and entertaining
 ‘An added good mark’ An absolute Classic

 Can be a bit too long
 Wait what am I saying?
 This game doesn’t have anything really bad about it

[SIZE="6"]9.5/10[/SIZE]

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